Whether it’s a plague brought on by unethical experimentation, or mother-nature fighting back with meteors and tsunamis, or even a simple zombie outbreak, there is absolutely nothing more satisfying than a fantastic apocalypse movie. Although it may be an outrageous scenario, there is something incredibly familiar about people running around trying to stop an apocalypse – mainly because those who try to stop it, always seem to work from the ‘Things Not To Do When Confronted by an Apocalypse’ playbook.
Still, we love to watch and yell out at the screen, “No! Just keep running! No, don’t turn around to save the dog! No! No! No!” Anyway, it’s amazing how much fun it is to watch the world end in apocalypse movies, even though we always see people doing things they shouldn’t be doing.
Can the same be said about KoldCast TV’s new zombie thriller series, The Last Stand, where an airborne virus spreads through the population like wildfire, before mutating to leave millions dead, and only 7 uninfected survivors to fight-off the remaining infected, who rage through the city like rabid animals? Watch a micro-short Teaser for The Last Stand, and then check out our list of 14 stupid things people always seem to do in apocalypse movies. Then you decide.
The Last Stand: Teaser
1. THEY DECIDE TO SPLIT UP
More often than not, there is safety in numbers – it’s as simple as that. Despite the obviousness of this statement, characters in apocalypse movies, action films and horror flicks, decide the best way to get out of a sticky situation is to split up and do some individualized investigating. One hundred percent of the time this plan proves to be a monumental failure – soon the corpses of their pals start popping up or, worse yet, they return as a flesh-eating zombie, alien, or simply wailing and pointing to Donald Sutherland.
THE LESSON: Always bring back-up.
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (ending)
2. THEY THINK THEY’RE SAFE IN ONE PLACE
At first, the idea of fortifying a single position, in defense of whatever caused the apocalypse in the first place, might seem like a pretty solid idea. In many ways, it actually makes a lot of sense. The problem is that when movie characters stay in one place for too long, that place starts to feel like home. And when a place starts to feel like home, you begin to get comfortable. And, when staring head-on into the dangers of an apocalypse, comfortable is not a good thing.
THE LESSON: Drop your guard and you’ll become zombie lunch.
3. THEY TRUST THE GOVERNMENT
It doesn’t really matter whether there’s been a zombie outbreak, a meteor rushing toward Earth, or a viral plague killing the human race – believing in the idea that government will be there to save the day is generally a mistake. The government looks out for the government. Period. If the government needs to round up some people and perform experiments, that’s just what the government will do. And, if the government needs to drop a bomb on a town to save the town next to it, you better believe that bombs will get dropped.
THE LESSON: Fend for yourself – in the eyes of the machine, you’re just a number, and a contaminated host.
4. THEY WANT TO PLAY THE HERO
When apocalypse movies characters get the itch to play the hero, things can end one of two ways. Sometimes they wind up saving the day, getting the girl, and become a savoir to their species. Other times they just plain end up dead. Spitting in the face of danger and putting it all on the line for the safety of others takes guts, and the line between guts and stupidity is so thin it barely exists.
THE LESSON: Run. For every successful hero there are fifteen less than successful corpses.
[Via Blog.Koldcast.Tv]
Hey, I agree with all you've said so far. I always think about a SHTF event, especially since 9/11. Do you know that since then there is absolutely NOTHING that I would Not expect anymore. Nothing! I'm sure there are lots of naysayers out there, but the weather's been REALLY, REALLY HOT up here recently and in Iowa and Chicago too and I'm just waiting for the MOTHER OF ALL STORMS to cover us from coast to coast to coast. Where're we going to run to then?
Also they always seem to make clothes out of black leather armor with huge spikes on it (hardly practical), and then it appears that they all then give each other mohawks and tribal tattoos. Seems like time that would be better spent planting a garden or curing a virus.
I mean, I can get with you on the mohawks, I'd probably do that too.
Great list! Makes sense.
http://www.morbidmoments.blogspot.com
They rack a round in the chamber when they are about to enter the room announcing to everyone with earshot that you weren't prepared to shoot before you came inside.. I have around chambered be for i ever enter the building. I'll cleared later like at the end of the day.
Let's see, Firing a 12 gauge shotgun, one handed, works ? (WITH Blanks)
1) Throwing a gun away when they run out of ammo- as if that caliber bullet is suddenly NLA. Heck, even an empty rifle makes a very handy club.
2) Wearing cotton. There’s an expression in hiking circles, “Cotton kills”. It’s hot when it’s hot, cold when it’s cold, and takes too long to dry every other time. Next time, try ‘microfiber’.
3) Never changing clothes. A sub-paragraph to #2, for some reason people in a post-Apocalyptic scenario like to wear the same outfit- forever.
4) Picking the wrong vehicle for conditions. Our survivors walk right past the Hum Vees and armored personal carriers and go for the 1989 Chrysler minivan. Many military vehicles are multi-fuel, and will run on everything from whiskey to recycled motor oil.