What is it about the outdoors that keeps us coming back for more each summer? Is it the crisp clean air of the Alpine mountains? Or, is it Papa Todd’s famous crock-pot dinners? For me, I am still trying to figure out exactly why I “choose” to go camping. My experience usually involves crying kids, mosquito bites, the frustration regarding the lack of toilet paper and anything else that would have been convenient to pack.
Everyone has a different experience when camping in the great outdoors. Take a look at the 7 Types of Campers and see where you fall. Are you “The Underprepared Camper”,”The Reluctant Camper”, or do you find yourself in my group, the so called “Daycare Campers”?
The “Roughin’ It” Camper
You know who they are. The ones flooding CBS with applications to be on the show Survivor. Those who tape every episode of Survivor Man and Man Vs. Wild. Why, I bet every scout master in the world could fit into this category. Why must I get up at the butt crack of dawn Mr. Paul Bunion, why?
The Overprepared Camper
While Bear Grylls packs only a buck knife and his never ending knowledge of the wild outdoors, the Overprepared Campers find a way to pack everything including the kitchen sink. Bug spray? I got it! In 5 different strengths and scents. Oh, you have a sensitive skin type? No problem… make that 6 different types of bug spray.
The Underprepared Camper
For those of us not as fortunate as those camping with mother Karen and her mini-mart of supplies, we get to look forward to West Nile Virus, the luxury of using pine cones instead of Charmin, and a clear view of the stars over the comforts of any type of shelter. Who would’ve thought flip flops aren’t meant to be worn in the woods? Not these campers.
The Reluctant Camper
The Reluctant Camper doesn’t know what to pack and isn’t interested in packing it in the first place. Reluctant Campers would much prefer to connect with nature by”Googling it”. A 4G connection and a spare battery is the first thing they pack.
The Daycare Campers
When has it ever been a good idea to give kids fire sticks, knifes, and the freedom to roam in the wild? How about letting them stay up 4 hours past their bedtime all the while giving them 20 juice boxes right before bed? Sure, sounds like a recipe for “fun” to me. Right?
The Party Camper
We all know who they are. We either camp alongside em’ or we pick fights with em’. It’s hard enough for the Daycare Campers to get their kids to bed without their drunken nature calls and laughter. But who can blame them? You are in fact sitting in the woods around a camp fire doing pretty much nothing. Why not spice it up a bit?
The Retiree Camper
For breakfast, biscuits and gravy, sausage, and fresh squeezed orange juice. Brunch is soda crackers and cheese. Lunch, grilled chicken and green tossed salad. Dinner, cock pot roast with baked potatoes and asparagus. Nobody knows camping luxury like the RV crew. If you see them parking there MTV crib next to your 4 man dome, it’s probably cause they need a cheap laugh at your expense.
So, if nature is calling you back into the wild, make sure you grab your sticks and obsidian. Let’s make our pioneer ancestors proud and reclaim our heritage that once dwelt in a tent. Nature has nothing on us. Now, where’s my phone? I better get online and order a new air mattress.